I was struggling over something. Something bad, something evil, something sinful. And it’s not the first time I’ve had to struggle with the same thing. It’s not even really my struggle, it is consequences of a sin not mine, but God has seen fit for me to have consequences also.
There was a cost. The person used by God to bring this struggle knew the cost. He knew the cost to himself and his relationship to God, he knew the cost to his family - both the family of God and his family at home. He is willing to pay the cost.
I tried to force him not to pay the cost. I tried to force him to righteous. I am not his Holy Spirit. I am not his conscience. And while my forcing might hold it back for a while, it will not stop it. Because for all my forcing, I will never be in control. God is in control. And only God can stop him from what he desires to do. I cannot do that.
Father, I have been afraid of what will happen in my life because of this. I have been afraid that I would not survive. I have been guilty of not trusting you with all my life. I repent of this sin, and I step off the edge. I’m scared, Father. Please hold me tight!
Robin
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