I’m sure we can all think of situations in our lives where we have heard the word ‘love’ misused. I’m sure we can even reach deep down and think of times we have misused the word ourselves.
Love has gone much the same way as ‘awesome’ and ‘humility’ in our vocabulary. We toss ‘love’ around as if it is a common commodity. And common commodities have little, to no, value. Maybe this explains why relationships are suffering such a tragic blow. Today’s marriage stands about a fifty-fifty chance of survival. And, sadly yes, this includes marriages of professing Christians. In other languages, there is more than one word for love. I think that’s wise. In the Bible there is agape - unconditional love extended to all in need; phileo - brotherly love; and eros - sexual, physical love.
For believers, ‘love’ needs to be so much more than that tingly feeling when we talk to someone new, or the emotion we use to express how we feel about the newest pizza at “The Hut”, or the new outfit we purchased, or our jobs. ‘Love’ needs to be what it is intended, in Christ, to be.
The Apostle Paul, in writing to the church members in Corinth, says this about love:
1Corinthians 13:4-7
4 Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, 5 does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, 6 does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; 7 bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
In context, Paul is talking to the church about spiritual gifts, and how they are given by the Spirit for the good of the body of Christ. He is tempering their clamour for “the best gifts” by explaining to them how love plays into it all. So while Paul is not defining love outright, he is definitely touching on the finer traits of love.
‘Love’ needs to be our barrel of these qualities. When we are at the end of our ropes, or just “not feeling the love”, we need to look deep into that barrel for those qualities. Not feeling that overwhelming love for your spouse? Look in the barrel! There, probably somewhere toward the bottom, is that love that brought you together in the first place. There is that “my only desire is to be with you” that you cherished when you gazed upon them. PULL IT UP FROM THE BOTTOM!
Mad at your favorite co-worker who used your words against you? Look in the barrel! There you will find that patience and kindness that holds true with brotherly love. PULL IT OUT! “But I don’t love my co-worker. He’s an arrogant, mean-spirited…..” Ah, ah, ah! If you are a believer, you are called to love your enemy, as well as your neighbor, as you love yourself.
Family got you crazed? Adult children, your siblings, your parents? I am currently dealing with these types of issues in my life. Into the barrel I go……. oh, yes - here it is! There’s the kindness. There’s the lack of jealousy it holds. There’s the inability to hold a record of the wrongs that I perceive have been done against me. If I stretch - reeeeeeeeeally stretch - I am able to grab hold of those “water-logged” things and drag them to the top of the barrel.
It isn’t easy. Many times the VERY LAST thing I want to do is look into the barrel. It means that “I” have to work, it means that “I” have to try, it means that “I” have to change! But in the end, isn’t “I” the only thing I have the power to make work, try, or change? And isn’t that effort so much easier than the effort “I” uses in carrying that grudge, holding that wrong, feeling that jealousy?
It’s that yoke of Christ! It makes the journey easy and the burden light. In accessing the barrel of love that Christ has given me, through His Holy Spirit, I am reminded I am teamed up with Him under His yoke.
I’m just sayin’…..
Father, on those days I am unlovable, You give me Your Agape. Please help me to remember that I am unlovable every day, and that every day You are still there. Help me be a reflection of Your love through Your Son, Jesus Christ. Help me to remember that I am not alone in this - that I am yoked to the One who carries the burden for me, making my burden light. And, Father, help me remember where the glory of that belongs - at Your feet! To You, Father, goes all the glory. There is nothing I do apart from You that has any worth, or serves any purpose on its own merit. Only through Your grace, the grace given to me through the sacrifice of Your Son, do I serve any purpose. May the things I do be pleasing to You and give glory to Your name. Amen.
May your burden be light.
In Him,
R.
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Very nicely written. Did you come up with the barrel analogy? I “love” it. When we are stretching way down into the bottom of the barrel, I trust that God is preventing anyone from coming along and slamming a lid down on top of us.
I am sure you are right, God is preventing the slam of the lid! And He even helps pull us out of the barrel when we have to climb all the way in to get at the right quality! That’s how great His grace truly is!!
But I know that you, more than anyone, know the struggle I have been through! Struggles with your sister, your mom, my sister, my mom, others that have been involved in our lives without thought…. they have all been a struggle for me. But God (again, my TWO FAVORITE WORDS!) has seen fit to allow me to forgive. Because I would want for forgiveness were I in that position. And I have been in that position… I’m just sayin’…..
I love you too!
R.